I marvel at many of today’s technological advances. Who would have imagined that Al Gore could have invented this thing called the Internet? And only Dick Tracy could have thought we would have phones on our wrist watches. Mark my word, our cars will be flying soon. Meet George Jetson.

I love the high-tech stuff… when it works. When it doesn’t work, I crave for the simpler times. Here are a few cases in point.

I was at an airport restroom recently and was attempting to wash my hands, feverishly waving them under the automatic water dispenser to no avail. So, I moved over to the next sink, and that faucet worked. Then I tried to get some soap from the automatic soap dispenser above the sink. It didn’t work, so I moved over to the next sink. Mission accomplished, and I chuckled to myself as I watched a line of people behind me do the exact same process. Then I wiped my wet hands on my pants because the automatic paper towel dispenser didn’t work.

Remember the days at the gas station before the pay-at-the-pump option? Not full service, mind you, but rather the process of filling up your tank, going inside and making your payment, hoping the attendant didn’t charge you $10.03 because all you had was a $10 bill. Now we insert our card at the pump, patiently wade through 13 “press here” options, fill up our tank and then receive a message to go inside for the receipt. Ugh. Times like this make me think electric cars might be OK, but the thought of running out of juice in the middle of nowhere still has me a bit skeptical.

Speaking of car technology, I was absolutely amazed the first time I used GPS. It was a few decades ago, and I was in another state and renting a car that came equipped with it, telling me where I was, where to turn and what the shortest route was. I continue to love this feature, until the GPS takes me to the wrong place due to maps apparently not being updated. Of course, an outdated Rand McNally would not be current either, but the expectation is that modern technology will work as it should.

Today, most all of us are intrigued by artificial intelligence, or what we are commonly calling AI. Even prior to us knowing much about this (even though it has been used for years), we were already struggling to sort through news stories to determine which ones were factual. The floodgate is now open, and we are all going to become even more skeptical of the validity of what we read, watch and hear. The solution seems simple to me: hold the tech companies to the same libel and slander standards (and penalties) that traditional media has to deal with. Don't hold your breath.

Meanwhile, be patient while you wash your hands. Better yet, you could use up those gallons of hand sanitizer you still have around.

Have a marvelous Monday, and thanks for reading.

Shane Goodman
President and Publisher
Big Green Umbrella Media
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305
www.thedailyumbrella.com

See Shane Goodman's previous columns here.

JOE'S NEIGHBORHOOD
Expedition to the top of the head

By Joe Weeg

My dermatologist slowly goes over my bald head with gentle fingers and a calm voice. He dictates to his assistant as he goes — much like an explorer taking notes on the unusual flora and fauna found in this remote and inhospitable landscape:

“Blah blah blah, and here’s a blah. Oh my, more blah blah. Ouch, look at that blah. And this would be a blah also. Please note that. Some people call this a barnacle. Now let’s go to the other side of the head.”

Although I am merely part of the undergrowth, I startle to hear the word “barnacle” somewhere in there.

Good for the soul
Moorman using horses to help veterans.

By Darren Tromblay

Given the opportunity, horses can connect with your soul and heart, says Eric Moorman, the veteran equine specialist at Jester Park Equestrian Center.

“They are proven to lower anxiety and depression levels by just being with them,” says Moorman, 59, a United States Marine Corps combat veteran who served in U.S. Marine Military Police from 1986-1992.

Helping humans is what Moorman has done for decades. But now it’s more important than ever.

Happy Birthday Paula Williams, Brady Lorenz, Ben Lorenz and Robert Fisher!

These celebrities were born on this date: Machine Gun Kelly, Amber Heard, Violet McGraw, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jack Nicholson, Marshawn Lynch, Sherri Shepherd, Jekalyn Carr

SUBMIT: Send your birthday greetings and congratulatory notes to: tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

The answer to yesterday's riddle:

What happened to the guy who broke his left arm and left leg in a car accident? HE WAS ALL RIGHT! - Cyote Williams, BJ Jennisch, Martha Wittkowski. Or he could no longer be ambidextrous. - William Snyder. Or, He was “left” limbless. - Peri Van Tassel.

Today's riddle

What do you call people who sleep in their socks?

Have a guess? Email tammy@iowalivingmagazines.com

To advertise in the Daily Umbrella or Grimes/Dallas Center, North Polk or Adel Living magazines, contact:

Dan Juffer
Senior Account Executive
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dan.juffer@dmcityview.com

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